MARIO AND LISA

There is something not quite right about this pair. I have a feeling they are not a couple in the real sense of the word. At a stretch they are a self manufactured couple by which I mean they are together for mutual benefit ~ not love.

They might be perfectly nice people but my first impression is imagine being on holiday in a small apartment complex and meeting them! Dear God! I can think of nothing worse. Well, other than Jade Goody's ex gimp (I forget his name) and Kerry Katona's current gimp together. What a couple they would make ... but I digress.

They seem to think they are some sort of perfect (not!) nearly celeb couple but in reality from what I read he is a civil servant (please don't let him get naked) and previously he was a probation officer who latched tags onto delinquents. AND his name is Shaun or Sean NOT Mario. He obviously thinks he looks a bit Italian and that having the name Mario would make him more attractive to the ladeees (why would he want that if he is in love with Lisa?). He is a father of 2 teenage girls and not an Italian Stallion. Get over yourself Shaun! Oh, and he's 43 ahem. Right. (42 on ch.4 website but he said 43 when he was discussing his enforced relationship with Stephanie). His birthday is next Monday so we'll wait and see what age he says he is then. I reckon he's at least 8 years older than he says.

Lisa is a mother of an 18 year old girl, Sophia, and granted she does look extremely good for 40. She is a sales rep for a beauty company ~ something to do with tanning beds. Perhaps that is why the look like they have been well and truly tangoed, perks of the job and all that. I BET they have a tanning bed in their spare room. Imagine the fights they have over whose turn it is? Oh, and that is not to mention the fights they must have over the lycra room, sorry, bench press room they must have too.

Another thing about them is that they seem to be serial wannabes. From a little investigation I find that they have been in numerous tv reality shows.

MARIO:
~ Brits Behind Bars
~ Ant and Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway
~ Deal or No Deal
~ Wife Swap (possibly)
Not to mention some toothpaste ad. and an ad. where he was a policeman who had to strip. Bet that killed him.

LISA:
~ Body Heat
~ Gladiators (maybe)
~ Cleanaholics
~ Kitchen Criminals
And she's a former Miss Wigan Body Building circa 1990

He apparently sold his Rolex to pay for her to have a boob job. And inflated her to quite sizeable proportions. And it's not just those bazookas that makes me think of BB7's Lea ~ check out her voice and the mad look in her eyes when the cameras do a close up.

Oh, and he obviously cannot keep a secret. He's a Freemason. And allowed Davina to tell the watching public. Thought all that garter stuff was meant to be secret?

But the worst? The very, very, very worst? She found him on Ebay! I kid you not. She apparently met him when she went to buy a crystal ball he was selling. I wonder if Weird Al Yankovic's 'I Found It On Ebay' is 'their' song?! Listen to it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7k_Z9uAI7U